She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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