Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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