Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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