i just google imaged poop.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
