love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
