But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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