I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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