Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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