may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
