My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
