i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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