K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
