everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
