he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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