so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
