im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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