So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
