Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
