Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize