yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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