Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
