Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The power of my boobs compel you
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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