I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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