The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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