I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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