are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
