if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
