after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
