Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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