I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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