Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
