Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize