I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
