Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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