oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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