So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
