its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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