The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
