So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
