we have officially lost it.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
