Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
