Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
