ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
