UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
