I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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