I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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