I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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