I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize