After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
