He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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