are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
