I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
