Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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