Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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