We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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