before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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