you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
