I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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