i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
