The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
