if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Define "chronic" masturbator.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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