Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
