i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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