don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
